Happiness

is (9)

to say this unhappiness
was built over months,years
will be like pondering
why everything was not right
why amidst plenty
the poverty of happiness
engulfing lives!
chaos,uneasiness,emptiness
making a perfect cocktail
matter ruling life
and 
purpose, clarity sidelined 
pleasurable zones,the often visited destination
for every action
scouting for benefits
selfish in flavour
miles away from compassion,kindness
or forgivingness
to say that happiness is an inside job
will be like reinforcing 
complete renunciation 
may not be the panacea
for in making others happy
leaving behind footprints in the sands of hearts
lies the key 
and 
in forging a new bond with the source(HIM)
lies the bliss
true one!
to say that you and me 
will not realize this 
will be like asking,
if not now 
then when and how!

Kamakhya 

Image credit : Google
    


 

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Abstract

50647762-Hand-drawn-oil-painting-Stock-Photo-abstract-art-paint

And after few hours 
i thought 
why i did not listen to my inner callings
the white lily in the pond
submerged in water
head held high
an assertive beauty
with embracing petals,
had whispered,be the you,you are
the old man with umbrella 
on the road,walking thinking,
tried to revisit the memory lanes
what he had left behind
age and past apart,
the unsubstituted ego, malevolence 
the boiling blood 
dissolving all the tenderness then
a dog frantically searching the remnant food
from the dustbin
for survival
the impoverished child 
waiting for liberation 
from the scourge of negligence,indifference
in a corner of road 
few unenlightened pompous people
discussing the scriptures loudly
showcasing their superiority of closeness
to HIM 
lot of prescriptions
lot more of omissions
i obeyed the traffic rules today
but disobeyed the rules of humanity
i took more time to sleep
late in the night
awake but eyes closed 
trying to tide over
the abstract waves,
the confluence  of yes and no 
the new sun will come tomorrow
but how different it will be 
i don't know 

Kamakhya

Image credit : Google  
 
 

Darkness

images

dark,
prolonged life,
darkness of ignorance!
the gleam of discernment
a distant thin crescent
clutches of ego
shadows of matter
delusion of pleasures
a cloistered life hutch 
death of realization
knocks every now and then
absconding light
in the midst of a full-blown sun
soul cries over body's actions,
vacillation of mind,
truth laughs 
at the ' me and my benefits boundary walls'
love does not love
the blindness of hearts
closed eyes 
and the aura of darkness,
consciously unconscious
to open the eyes
oops!
close the "I"? 

Kamakhya

Image credit: Google    
  
 

What it meant

image

I did not say NO 
does it mean that 
i agreed to what you said?
i could not say
" i love you too"
does it mean that 
i did not love you then?
i went on expecting,
others to be nice,empathetic,appreciative
to me 
does it mean that 
i did not hold my ego to my chest,
ignoring their feelings too?
i kept on harping,
i don't want name,fame,money
does it mean that 
i did not want anything,really?
i went on braving a smile
does it mean that 
i did not cry,silently alone?
i saw the faults with them,instantly,
throwing my satirical venom generously,
does it mean that 
i was never to be blamed?
i went on saying,
how much i have read,
how close i am to God,
happy about the paraphernalia,
propogated charity or kindness 
though with a plethora of ungodly thoughts,
and opposite actions
does it mean that 
i did not know the simple truth 
what God loves most,
shedding my ignorance and boastful displays?
conscious but ignorant,
i went on searching for peace  
does it mean that 
i did not know,
where it lies,
in universality of love?

Kamakhya 

Image credit : Google           
 

Silhouette

is

my,mytime aloneness
in quiet midnight 
the tired world sleeps
a transitory stillness 
the siren of ambulance
outside, on the empty road,
brings me a shiver,
vulnerability of my living
leaves are shedded in fall
bald trees in grief,
eagerly wait for a springstart 
my longing heart 
still searches your silhouette 
behind the draperies,
in the blank white walls,
or in the overhead ceiling
silently, 
butterflies play hide and seek
in the middle of night
an aura of guilt
somehow hovers near me
as i dissect the then,
possible permutations 
and combinations 
i know 
you will come 
tomorrow, same time 
i will ask you then
when the overcast sky 
will blow away 
for a sunny bright day 
when will i see you 
other than in my lyricism!


Kamakhya 

Image credit: Google 


 

Oh! My Mood

is

tranquility of early morning 
smiling leaves
with shining dew
dancing with cool breeze
the agile,chirping birds,
flying high
making the most of the new sunshine
bells ringing
from the place of worship,nearby
my non-controversial mood
as pleasant as the first morning tea,
a big thank you God
for the fresh new day
9'o clock sun rays 
entering my balcony,unopposed
as if it must pass through
this gateway
before it goes to world
tilting the scale of my mood,
anxiety,reticence 
setting in.
a zig-zag mood graph of workplace,
a disproportionate happiness,
sadness,fullness,emptiness,
a cocktail of moods,
short lived bubbles
evaporating with each depleting 
work hour!
evening music
cool winds
kids playing ,carefree
i play with my octogenarian mother
oh my mood! 
now irritable,next romantic
then gloomy ,now happy,excited 
my inscrutable mood swings!
are they,
i wonder
the results of,
my reacting to situations
my neurotransmitter
or my sleep intake
effects of color,music,light
my jealousy,my hatred or paranoia
my pains and aloneness
or someone's else sourced to me,
an aura of guilt shrinking being me!
my realization of equanimity
of present,past,future
or meditation,paving the way for Nirvana,
i don't know
inexplicable for me
my moods are "me"
good or bad,
as varied as rich as 
my beliefs,values,dreams.

Kamakhya

Image credit : Google             
           

Road

images (2)

the long,
never ending looking road,
a reinforced perception,
that it goes on..
a mirage 
a blurred vision,
for it has an end,
the crossroads and junctions
reaching the inaccessible terrain of dead ends
tired traveler of life,
en route upheavals,potholes 
oscillating between ups and downs,
survival of fittest 
and manifestation of 'I' syndromes.
the stopovers and signals,
on the way,
suggesting in low voice,
to slow a bit down,
falling on deaf conscious. 
frightened mortals,
see the falling down of ripen fruits,
dry leafs off the trees on the road side.
at the fag end of journey
or days before that 
he thought 
why he ran after the matter,estates 
why he soured relationship,
inflicted pains,
invested in ego
fell short of loving the co-travelers on the way
why years passed,
under the influence of delusion
and attachments,
all alone, tears of remorse
falling down silently, looking at the open sky,
the only source of strength and hope now
while on the run,
he thought,
why being in a hurry
still a long way to go ...
a paradoxical journey,
the purpose of life
the eternal bliss,liberation from recurring pains,
safely buried under the distractions of ignorance!
the eternal light,
be the guide all along the way,
before the day light,
the twilight,
meet the nightfall!

Kamakhya

Image Credit: Google