I never meant to listen the conversation that was going on among that family members , in that busy Mall on that day , but I was drawn to it any way , shopping near by .
The Teenage , perhaps the college going girl was selecting a dress , not knowing the price. After knowing the price , the father could not approve of -may be it was beyond his budget. I could , standing nearby, read the helplessness,guilt feeling in the face of father & understanding the plight of his father , the daughter’s consoling him not to worry & asking him to buy something else , suppressing her desire for the preferred dress .There was a pause/silence among the other family members for few moments , even to a sensitive outsider like me , though they went on to buy another stuff .
Are our Feelings infectious ? Yes , our happy moods, feeling good , elations , spread good vibes to others as much as our sad/feelings low inactivate others around us .
At times , particularly , the low phase of life – when we feel bad due to an unwelcome situation, loss of something , humiliation, our failures, break up of a relation or on any emotive issues & some how we get out of that phase after loosing considerable amount of time ignoring a lot of vital happy moments – only to realize later that , what was gone, in between – raises a pertinent question : Did we deserve that phase or it could have been better managed emotionally !
Our Feelings are very essential part of our life , for our growth, survival, relations, social well being . Feelings take us to ” More Life “
When we listen to our feelings & also to others feelings , sensitively tuning in , many of our psychological & social problems may be lessened .when we get to know how we feel we some times do not know how to accept or move with it : Accepting or staying with our feelings , is to listening to ourselves . Some times we want to express our feelings to others to get some solace but it must be accepted that – not every one will hear to us or be interested in our emotions because people react differently . Some people always feel intensely , a slightest unwelcome situation can make them feel strongly while others may feel it differently , lightly , easily .
How do we cope with a different set of feelings that keep us disturbed, inactive, gloomy & come out of that mental upheavals as soon as possible for creative purposes , is the basic question .
Are our feelings – good or bad , dependent on our beliefs , culture , background, education ? Yes – to a large extent .
The way we think decides the way we feel.In fact our emotional lives are the result of the beliefs, experiences, we have internalized .
Are the factors for our feelings- intuitive or real ? A past experience that made us feel bad years back , can always trigger in us the same reactive , fearful thought , even though it is actually not true now . For example : a rude behavior by an adult son to his old father many months back , may remind & insinuate the father to feel the -” repeat feel ” . Such feelings should not be allowed to dictate our thoughts, as they may not be existing at all.
We are never made to learn , mostly , how to relate to our emotions : so we should make our own way through – :
Self Belief : when feeling very low , worried for any thing or any situation , First thing to do is to – believe in your self . It may at times , sounds harder but this really helps .To do that it is to be reinforced in mind that ” I will not succumb to this phase & will not allow it to take more space or time in my mind or heart ” while accepting that aching feeling as “OK” . Alternatively : Close your eyes & look inward silently , give a name to your feeling, if it is named ” Hurt ” – say to yourself ” I am ignoring this & moving on …”
Accepting it as Transitory : Accepting the sad feelings as it is , is fine but knowing that this feeling will also go away , is the key . Nothing stays , nor will this situation ! Listen to music , take to writing or drawing , take a walk or nap , some stressed out professionals have already taken to basic drawing like their kids do .
Learn to Let go – forgive fast : Perturbed & Hurt by people actions & reactions ? Better to let go things , forget it as soon as possible & try a forgiving to the person made you hurt.Never cling to : Why & What – happened, said , did , to you . Feel Fresh & Released .
Rope into Almighty : Some situations are very different & complex forcing us to feel strongly . At times people take shelter in leaving every thing to Almighty’s will . Believing that He(God) controls every thing including our thoughts , feelings, our highs & lows of feelings as well , goes a long way , as a tool to combat the hardcore type feelings before it slips into a Depressive behavior . Roping into God for good or bad situations equally, also makes inroads to our sense of spiritualism .
The fact of the matter is to differentiate which Feelings to cling on to & which to avoid , assuming that all our feelings are a Mixed Blessing .
Few people exhibit a New sense of love , a strong character , a maturity to responsibilities, a wisdom to anger , a sensibility to sufferings & an infectious happiness . They teach us how our life can glow , how our sufferings can evolve and lead us to fullness of Being !
Let us ask ourselves the question : How our feelings can be consciously made more refined , How can we make a difference to make our feelings welcome from unwelcome stage , How our feelings can be ” less sticky ” , How would our management of emotions carry us forward to a happy & more vital life experiences .