Voice

the other day 
i found 
somebody is missing in me 
and that is ME!
i am not the only one in me 
suddenly realizing how many people
i am living with always
who have grown into a crowd 
speaking at a same time 
for i am listening to the voices of others
always 
the voices of forefathers priests friends neighbours
or enemies 
voices all jumbled up
forming a thick layer of cloud within me 
or the voices cropping up 
from the hideouts of biases fears unforgivingness
or the voices owing their genesis 
to the knoll of my hatred anxieties 
or paranoia!
oscillating between my thoughts to actions
or actions to thoughts
perplexed
i thought 
where is the room for listening to me 
my inner voice 
my inner guide 
amidst these multiple voices 
now i knew why mystics preferred mountains
for they wanted to hear less 
less of distractions to their 'self'
how do i make a conversation with me 
my consciousness!
learning to quit them for a quiet ME!
time to assert now 
to tell them ' please leave me alone'
knocking them out completely 
i thought 
may be possibly impossible 
but 
in my trying to find myself 
unburdening the past guilt biases
i can see the clouds blowing away 
for a clearer sky 
who knows 
i may find the grace within 
i may meet my inner voice 
my inner guide 
more often 
and those godsend moments 
within me or around!